I was in love with for the 2nd time in my life (Tucker my corgi is my first love and hes been with me for 4 yrs Christmas Day) but Barkley stole my heart the minute he walked in the doors at Safe Haven. I was in a relationship at the time and knew the only way he was coming home to stay was to use the old "I have to take him to the vet tomorrow morning so he's just staying the night" routine. Yep Barkley walked in the door like he had been there forever. And my partner at the time fell in love too...
I spent almost 3 years with this amazing soul who truly taught me about patience and unconditional love. I separated from my long term relationship in 2008 and we moved on to start our new life. Barkley and Tucker were there for everything. They knew every single second I needed them and they were there. Barkley was my "Pappa Umpa" or so I called him. I used to read out loud to him at night while he laid there demanding the belly rubs. We went on many walks together and I can remember each and every time he saw a rabbit or a deer. I had to practically sit down while he pulled me trying to get to whichever animal he preferred at the time. He would also do things that drove me crazy like take the longest drink then come put his head on my lap only to fill it with THE biggest slobber piles you can ever imagine, he would find the biggest pile of mud to rub into, bring those huge feet he had filled with mud or snow and cover my entire kitchen, living room, bedroom in under 30 seconds - you name it it was everywhere!
He would let Tucker clean his ears, sleep cuddled next to the cats, take in and accept every single foster that ever came through the door as if to say "This is the right place for you to be".
In April of 2009 something was wrong...He started peeing in the house, going outside and not being able to pee, and started losing his appetite...This all happened in a course of two days. By the night of the 2nd day he threw up (Ever seen a Saint Bernard throw up???? OMG!) So I rushed him to Bright Eyes and Bushy Tails and they did blood work and it showed he was in renal failure. His kidneys were shutting down. And I was in NO WAY ready to let him go so he was put in intensive care for 6 days while they got his BUN and CREA numbers to the point that he could come home.
The next 9 months we had another shorter hospitalization becase the bags of fluids I was giving him was not enough so we had to restart his kidneys again, once home we started all over again. I was giving him medications for everything you could imagine while also giving him bags of fluids every day - that dog let me poke him with a huge needle and laid there for 20-30 minutes as I rubbed his belly and told him how much I loved him. He never grumbled or made a peep - he knew he was giving me more time and thats what he wanted too. The vets told me the first hospitalization that he only had 2-3 months, they were right so that was the 2nd hospitalization, but he came home and they told me he only had a month left. But I got another 5 months....
I wasn't ready the week before Valentines Day. I wanted him to be with me forever but I knew as the days were going on and I had to manually get him to go outside to potty that the time was getting near. I cried every single day and prayed every single night that he would go in his sleep. I didn't want to be the one to make the choice - no one does.
Valentines Day was a Sunday. I left for a few hours and by the time I got back he could barely lift his head. His tail still wagged but I knew it was time. His breathing had become deeper and I bawled hysterically as I called my closest friends and my dad who had to come and help us get him to the vet. Barkley at one time had weighed 140 lbs. He was down to 100. I Called Dr Chenney who had been by our side every week for the past 9 months drawing blood and giving us the medication refills and giving us support. He got very close with Barkley as well so when I made the emergency call that Sunday afternoon I kne he was just as devastated. Dr Chenney cared for him for 9 months and let me go through every emotion over those 9 months and the entire time he supported Barkley and I during our mission to "Save my Pappa Umpa".
You can imagine the 25 minute ride to the vet as the tears rolled down my cheeks and I talked to him in mumbled tones...He was so happy to be going for a ride - something we did often. It was the most peaceful passing surrounded by my dad and my closest friends but I sobbed uncontrollably... I was sure I couldn't live with out him......Devastated was the only word. Dr Chenney came in on a Sunday to do the hardest job a vet can do not for the pets sake but for those that love them. Not a single person in that room had a dry eye and my world stopped in time while I watched him take his last final breath and drifted off to the rainbow bridge to join the others who have passed.
I spent the next 6 weeks crying every single night when I went to bed because he wasn't laying right next to me, he wasn't giving me his paw for a treat, he wasn't playing with the other dogs and making the loud play noises.
My house was absolutely bare once he was gone. My heart was too.
I spent 3 months grieving then I decided I would fulfill my promise to Barkley that I would rescue another Saint in need someday. I waited for one to come through Safe Haven but it never happened, I searched Petfinder periodically for 6 months and inquired about 10 Saint Bernard's over that period of time and none of them were the right fit....either dog aggressive, cat aggressive, kid aggressive. I wanted an adult and began to wonder if it was meant to be.
Well 9 months TO THE DAY of Barkley's passing I received an email from one of my rescue colleagues who asked me to forward out an email about a 12 month old St Bernard who was literally starved to death. I think she was shocked when I said "I will NOT forward this out". I saw his picture and description and I knew....
A few days later there he was - pulled from Cedar Rapids Animal Control Center by a temp foster who would find him a good home and then as you guessed it he came home with me for his forever home. When he was first brought to CRACC he weighed 80 lbs! He should have been a minimum of 120!
So Barkley the II (My 8 yr old niece Hailey named him) is here and his soul, his personality is EXACTLY like Barkley I. They say you can never replace a dog and they are right BUT you can feel redemption when another dog walks into your life and fills those holes in your heart and soul because they are just like your other. The look in their eyes that pierces your soul knowing how badly they need our help and wondering if they know how much you need them too.
I adopted Barkley II 9 months and 5 days after Barkley I passed over the rainbow bridge and I think Barkley I sent him to me so I could help another dog with needs and maybe just maybe be able to fill some of those voids after the loss of my soul mate (PS its already started!). Now hes at 97.5 lbs and we have some weight to get on him and we will do it! Thank you Barkley I for sending me Barkley II.
